The name of this blog comes from our mission at INFLUENCE: “To empower people with clarity and confidence.”
Our objective is to provide brief but meaningful topics (under 500 words) that inspire, educate and empower leaders through resources both inside and outside of INFLUENCE. This week’s edition is provided by David Salmons.
Last week we provided a quick overview of emotional intelligence (EI). This week we’ll drill down on one specific EI competency, social awareness, or, in a word, empathy: the capacity to recognize and understand others’ perceptions and emotions.
This bears a closer look because, while all EI competencies are important, studies indicate that empathy is a key to EI results. For example, one DDI study involving around 15,000 leaders concluded that “empathy tops the list as the most critical [soft skill] driver of overall performance…”
Why? You’ve probably heard the quote by Maya Angelou that goes, “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”
As that may or may not be sufficient to make the point, let’s hold the thought for a moment and consider a real scenario. A leader we once knew had a habit of lining up his employees like toy soldiers, and then yelling insults at them. And to be clear, the setting was business technical, not military.
In short, in a complex problem-solving environment that required round the clock customer service and, often, personal sacrifice on the part of his team, he treated his clients like tasks and his employees like tools. Meaning, if the task list wasn’t resolved quickly, he swung his hammers harder to get results.
Despite this outpouring of energy, the results were poor. But then, as Maya’s quote suggests, most of us are impacted by how we feel, energized or de-energized through emotions like hope or hopelessness. In truth, his approach actually reduced the team’s mental and emotional resources available for creating solutions.
Taking it a step further, when we consider that regular, engaged and creative problem-solving is at the heart of business success, we begin to see why empathy and respect are some of the highest indicators of leadership capacity.
Who wants to solve problems for a boss who can’t see or doesn’t care about the experiences of others? Pretty much no one. And that’s true for most scenarios where empathy is absent, not just in extreme situations like the one described above.
How do we increase our empathy?
One way is to practice active listening particularly when things get complicated. This typically involves asking open ended questions that encourage others to share their perspective, then listening for words, phrases, and even tone or body language to gain a sense of underlying experience.
While this can be difficult for leaders who thrive on control, it communicates a respect and empathy that builds trust and positive emotional states.
Another way to increase empathy involves recognizing employees as individuals even when things aren’t complicated. This means actively working to understand the unique approach, needs and goals of each team member.
And third – seek feedback on how you come across, and take it seriously. Use it to realistically adjust your behavior in order to build an approachable personal brand.
Remember, empathy is for more than crisis. It allows leaders to view the world from other perspectives, adding a great deal of value, not the least of which is that it grows your reputation for being trustworthy and approachable as a leader.