The name of this blog comes from our mission at INFLUENCE: “To empower people with clarity and confidence.”
Our objective is to provide brief but meaningful topics (under 500 words) that inspire, educate and empower leaders through resources both inside and outside of INFLUENCE. This week’s edition is provided by David Salmons.
Michael Bungay Stanier published a book in 2020 titled, The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever. It’s a concise, simple-to-read publication for leaders who want to coach their teams toward increased accountability and problem-solving capacity.
One of the key points in his book is that we don’t help people become better problem solvers by always telling them what to do. That’s not to say we should neglect direction, as there may be a great deal of “telling them what to do” required in the form of training, consulting or mentoring.
It’s just that, as Michael points out, there are many occasions when team-members will benefit more from a focus upon bringing their own capacities fully into play rather than from a constant flow of our own personal advice.
It’s that process of helping team-members discover a new level of creative ownership – one that draws upon THEIR strengths and perspectives – that Stanier unfolds in his book.
What might surprise you is that, as a process, it begins with the curiosity of the leader; and it’s that curiosity, with its purpose and power, which we’ll explore briefly below.
The Purpose of Curiosity
As Michael says, “When the going gets tough, the brain starts looking for ways out.” As a matter of fact, studies indicate that the brain scans up to 4 times per second for reasons to retreat – even in conversations. Functionally, this means that the brain disengages creativity mode and engages damage control when micro-management occurs. When this happens, solution-finding, if it occurs at all, is less vested and less effective.
This being true, “Having someone hold the space so the other person can figure things out, find the real challenge, increase their focus… that’s a gift…” according to Michael. And it’s a gift that changes everything.
The Power of Curiosity
A leader’s curiosity, when expressed respectfully, provides the energy, opportunity and expectation that team-members need to apply their full creativity to problem solving.
In practical terms, Stanier emphasizes that it’s all about the questions we ask and how we ask them. For example, we should only ask one question at a time; most of our questions should begin with “what”; and we must get used to silence as people think. Also, while he notes that situations themselves will suggest the most helpful questions, he offers the following curiosity-prompts for leaders:
- The Kickstart Question: “What’s on your mind?”
- The AWE Question: “And what else?”
- The Focus Question: “What’s the real challenge here for you?”
- The Foundation Question: “What do you want?”
- The Strategy Question: “If you’re saying yes to this, what must you say no to?“
- The Lazy Question: “How can I help?”
- The Education Question: “What was most valuable here for you?“
In summary, Stanier and others note that some leaders may find it hard NOT to be directive. To this he concludes, “The definition of coaching doesn’t say ‘never give advice’ or ‘only ask questions. That would be deeply impractical. Rather, it implies that advice-giving has its place in your life, and that advice-giving is usually an overdeveloped muscle. What you’re trying to do, is to train an underdeveloped muscle: curiosity.”
And that’s a good bit of advice for leaders who want to raise the problem-solving capacity of those they lead.